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The role of a leader comes with unique challenges. Leaders must strike the perfect balance between being a good mentor and coach versus becoming a micromanager or enabling codependent behavior. One of the difficulties leaders can encounter is dealing with unsolicited advice.

In theory, giving or receiving advice are both positive interactions. After all, advice given with the best of intentions should help the receiver. However, if the giving or receiving of unsolicited advice is not handled well, it can cause resentment or imply that the other party is incapable of handling the situation well.

This slope is especially slippery in the workplace. Some employees might already feel pressure to perform and might be sensitive to receiving unsolicited advice as a result. Issues about advice can affect those in leadership roles, as well. Not everyone is comfortable dispensing advice that the receiver has not requested. In some cases, this includes leaders.

IMPLICATIONS OF UNSOLICITED ADVICE

The differences in perception that employees have of advice that is unsolicited versus solicited are not just significant; they are enormous. These differences apply to the advice giver, as well.

  • Employees think that co-workers who give them unsolicited advice are self-serving and flaunting their knowledge, but co-workers who give them solicited advice are being prosocial and want to help them. (1)
  • Unsolicited advice is seen as less useful than solicited advice. (1)

At the end of the day, despite its potential pitfalls, advice can be valuable to your workforce. It offers a wonderful opportunity to help employees sharpen their skill set. On the leadership side, learning the best ways to handle unsolicited advice will help leaders become better in their role.

So, how can you identify when unsolicited advice has become toxic instead of helpful? And for the latter type of advice, how can you dispense it in a way that encourages employees to welcome it and recognize its value? Below are answers to these questions and more that will set you up for success.

WHAT QUALIFIES AS UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Any piece of advice a person gives that the recipient(s) did not ask for is considered unsolicited advice. The giver’s intentions are typically good, but unfortunately, the best of intentions can get lost in the resentment that this type of advice can cause.

Imagine that you task one of your employees with creating a PowerPoint presentation for a big meeting with upper management. When the employee shares the document with you for review, you like what you see overall, but notice a few areas for improvement. Thinking nothing of it, you advise your employee on these areas ─ for both the current presentation and future presentations. Much to your surprise, they react in an offended way, assuming the remarks indicate that you dislike the presentation as a whole.

The problem is, unsolicited advice can have an air of superiority if it is not communicated thoughtfully. When this happens, the person on the receiving end can become defensive, angry and insecure.

Misunderstandings like these happen at work more often than you might think. If left to fester, these misunderstandings can lead to deep resentment with the potential to negatively affect the performance of the team and even the success of the organization as a whole.

REASONS WHY COWORKERS GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE

If unsolicited advice can cause serious problems at work, why do some people still give it? Sometimes the person genuinely wants to help and feels they have the wisdom to do so. Other times, they want to demonstrate their superiority over the other person.

The urge to give advice to someone who has not asked for it can even come from a desire to feel like the giver is helping the receiver in some way. In this scenario, the giver might feel anxious that they are powerless to help a person they care about, so they give advice out of desperation to feel like they did something.

A professional environment might make employees feel like they need to impress coworkers or their boss. They might view sharing advice as a way to demonstrate their knowledge and skill set. Some might even feel pressured to constantly force unsolicited advice on their colleagues.

WHEN UNSOLICITED ADVICE BECOMES PROBLEMATIC

As discussed above, unsolicited advice can come across as preachy, demeaning or pushy if the recipient’s feelings are not considered. In addition, when someone forces advice on an unwilling coworker, they violate their personal boundaries. This behavior qualifies as a violation because it:

  • intrudes on the recipient’s right to formulate their own solutions,
  • rejects the recipient’s authority to make their own choices or decisions,
  • denies the recipient an opportunity to take control of their life.

When employees’ rights are violated, it can create an unhealthy work environment where people do not feel safe. This is not only an ethical concern, but it is also problematic for focus and productivity. Think about it: How can employees excel at their work if they are distracted by feelings of anxiety, resentment or insecurity?

TACTICS TO DETER UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Part of your job as a leader is to manage your staff’s professional relationships. While you cannot necessarily control what an employee says or does, you can guide them ─ and put your foot down, if guidance does not work.

The following phrases are a polite yet firm way to decline unsolicited advice. You can share them with any employees that might need them and use them yourself, if you are on the receiving end of a pushy advice giver.

  • “I respect your opinion and appreciate your thoughts. However, I already have a plan in mind.”
  • “Thank you for the advice. I will consider it as soon as I finish [name of project].”
  • “I understand that worked for you, but I am not comfortable doing that.”
  • “I appreciate the feedback, but we have actually found that [explain the findings].”

As you can see, all these phrases are polite and express gratitude to the advice giver. They are respectful and, in most cases, provide an explanation for why the recipient is declining the advice. At the same time, they set healthy boundaries for the recipient and make it clear that they are firmly saying no.

Some employees will not relent even when the recipient responds in an appropriate manner. When this happens, it is up to you as a leader to intervene. Take the advice giver aside and tell them privately that they need to respect their colleague’s right to decline their advice. Remain calm and do not villainize the employee; treat them with the same level of respect you want for yourself. Acknowledge and express appreciation for their desire to help before putting your foot down. This will help soften the blow a bit.

HOW TO GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE THAT IS WELCOMED

There will be times when you will need to give advice to employees even if they do not ask for it. As mentioned above, giving your staff guidance is an integral part of any leadership position. Do not panic when these scenarios present themselves. Instead, use these practices:

  1. Have the conversation in private; this spares the employee public embarrassment and prevents workplace gossip from circulating.
  2. Start the conversation on a positive note by expressing gratitude for your employee’s contributions or by complimenting them.
  3. Explain to your worker why you are giving them advice; the rational behind it and how it will benefit them and the organization.
  4. Encourage your employee to ask any questions or express any concerns they may have about what you just told them.
  5. Before you part with them, reiterate to your worker that your door is always open for anything they might need.

CREATING A HELPFUL AND RESPECTFUL WORKPLACE

Unsolicited advice, both the giving and receiving of it, is a tricky tightrope for leadership to walk at work. Fortunately, by incorporating the practices outlined here, you can help create a work environment that is both helpful and respectful. This will not only make your company a more pleasant place to work, but it will also support the long-term success of your organization.

Corporate meetings represent an excellent opportunity to address workplace issues like unsolicited advice. Contact Gavel International to see how working with a meeting planning company can benefit your organization. 

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SOURCE(S):

1 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6057103cc9e1e60ed482b49f/t/61a8dfe7123a167ada77de78/1638457362625/How+employees+react+to+unsolicited+and+solicited+advice+in+the+Workplace.pdf

Jeff Richards
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