Reading Time: 6 minutes

If some of your employees seem a little too eager to earn approval from their manager and/or coworkers, they might be exhibiting a harmful form of approval-seeking behavior. While occasionally striving for approval is not detrimental, it can become unhealthy when a worker’s actions are driven by or even addicted to it.

It’s widely known that workers who receive little appreciation struggle with low engagement, lack of productivity, and poor morale. This is why appreciation is so important in the workplace. Unfortunately, at the opposite end of the spectrum are leaders who, in a misguided attempt to motivate employees, go into affirmation overload. They hand out compliments and rewards so often that these forms of approval start to lack meaning.

There’s a fine line between helpful affirmation and creating dependence on external validation. When leaders overdo praise, employees may start to crave constant approval to feel good about their work, making it difficult for them to be self-motivated. How can you recognize extreme approval-seeking in your employees?

COMMON WAYS THAT EMPLOYEES TRY TO GET APPROVAL

The overzealous quest for approval can take a variety of different forms. Keep an eye out for employees who exhibit the following behaviors.

Compliment Everyone, for Everything

At first, people who are complimentary of their manager and teammates might seem like good team players. After all, how can a compliment hurt anyone? It becomes an issue when the person in question hands them out like pieces of dime store candy – that is, the compliments lose their value and authenticity.

Compliments given by these people no longer have any meaning or impact. They might even start to annoy recipients who have become aware that their teammate compliments everyone without discretion.

Get Disproportionately Upset by Criticism

No employee is immune to criticism from their boss or coworkers. It is inevitable and, furthermore, constructive criticism can help improve the quality of people’s work. So, when an employee has an oversized reaction to perfectly reasonable and fair criticism, a deeper issue is at play. They might be ill equipped to handle anything they perceive as negative feedback, which to them could feel like an insult to their talent and expertise.

Never Say “No”

A person who does not feel comfortable setting boundaries tends to be a “yes person.” This means they agree to everything and anything to get approval, from taking on too much extra work to helping coworkers to the detriment of fulfilling their own responsibilities.

“Yes” people often start off enthusiastically but become resentful and burnt out, even as they continue saying “yes.” These employees are particularly risky prospects because their affliction is not obvious and might even be viewed as positive by their colleagues, who enjoy taking advantage of them. People who never say “no” might even be considered a highly valuable member of the team by their manager – until their resentment and fatigue start to cause problems.

Falter When Trying to Make Decisions on Their Own

“To be, or not to be, that is the question…” Shakespeare’s Hamlet is perhaps one of the most memorable examples of someone who struggles with decisions.  Once you’ve met someone like this, you know the type.  They waffle back and forth between multiple scenarios endlessly and tend to second-guess themselves when they finally settle on one.

Worse yet, a subset of these uneasy decision-makers cannot make a decision on their own. They are totally dependent on their manager or coworkers to support their decisions. “Whatever you think is best” is a common phrase you might hear from these employees.

Constantly Compare Themselves to Others

Approval seekers want approval so badly because it is their main source of self-esteem. They elicit a positive view of themselves from other people instead of looking within. This push for external validation leads these employees to constantly compare themselves to their coworkers. They benchmark their own worth against that of their teammates.

Constant comparisons can cause these employees to feel jealous and resentful of their colleagues, as well as inferior to teammates they perceive as having a longer list of accomplishments.

Go to Great Lengths to Avoid Disapproval

Some employees fear disapproval so intensely that they will do just about anything to avoid it. This unhealthy behavior can take many forms, from molding themselves into the personality type they think their manager prefers to copying work done by their teammates.

You might notice that these people seem to become a shadow of themselves and are eventually difficult to distinguish from their coworkers. These employees lose the unique value they once brought to the team when they were true to themselves.

HOW TO PREVENT AND STOP APPROVAL-SEEKING BEHAVIOR

There is nothing wrong with rewarding employees for a job well done, provided you do not go overboard or give affirmations too often. One of the most effective ways to strike this delicate balance is by offering incentives that create long-lasting motivation and positive habits.

Of the various incentive strategies, non-cash incentives are the best option for achieving long-term goals. They go beyond motivating and engaging employees to affirm their contributions, as well. Forms of non-cash incentives include:

  • Extra vacation time
  • A trip to a desirable destination
  • Praise given publicly, whether verbal or written
  • A VIP experience at a restaurant, retailer, concert, or sporting event
  • Gifts personalized to the employee’s interests

Why are non-cash incentives such a good option for granting the approval that employees seek? They neatly address the core reasons why people want approval.

Meaningful Recognition

A recent workplace survey by Gallup revealed the following non-monetary incentives as being among the most meaningful forms of recognition to employees:

  • Public recognition or acknowledgment via an award, certificate or commendation
  • Private recognition from a boss, peer or customer
  • Receiving or obtaining a high level of achievement through evaluations or reviews
  • Promotion or increase in scope of work or responsibility to show trust

Source: (1)

Data from Gallup also found that employees perceived honest, authentic and individualized recognition to be the most meaningful. (1) It makes sense since an affirmation that comes across as fake or does not relate to the recipient as an individual lacks meaning. It might be the swankiest gift or experience, or something incredibly trendy and cool, but these factors do not automatically make it meaningful.

Sustained Motivation

Monetary rewards are typically short-lived and spaced far apart. For example, in most cases, a raise is only given annually. Non-cash incentives, on the other hand, can be awarded continuously throughout the year.

Instead of offering just one reward that can seem far off in the distance to employees, you can keep their interest piqued and their motivation sustained year around. Non-cash incentives are particularly helpful for establishing a connection between work ethic and motivation. When this connection is made, it positively impacts motivation. (2)

Boost Self-Esteem

Earning a reward makes the recipient feel like they have accomplished something of worth. They feel capable and proud of themselves. The more capable an employee feels, the better their self-esteem becomes.

Employees might never recognize the link between their improved self-esteem and the incentives offered by their employer, but they will develop a positive feeling about working for the company regardless. Furthermore, when people feel valued by their employer for what they bring to the table, they are more likely to remain engaged and stay with the organization.

Shift Focus

People who constantly seek approval tend to focus on the outcome instead of the process of getting there. This approach makes them vulnerable to feeling unsatisfied because sometimes the outcome is out of their control, even if the employee did everything right.

What each worker does have control over, however, is how they move through the process. For example, one employee might find that communication is a weakness for them. By setting out to improve their communication skills, this person is taking accountability for a part of the process that is within their control – regardless of the outcome.

Since non-cash rewards can be given for any accomplishment, the manager of the employee in the above scenario can use them to recognize the improvement the employee made in their communication skills. Imagine the feeling of earning a trip to a fabulous destination based on this part of the process instead of feeling somewhat helpless because you know you can only earn the reward if the end result is deemed successful.

Promote Autonomy

An employer that conveys confidence in their workforce inspires employees to become more independent. Offering autonomy as an incentive to workers who put in their best effort is a fantastic way to boost their self-confidence and demonstrate that you trust them.

For all its benefits, freedom comes with responsibility and accountability – so, by granting them more freedom, you reinforce the ownership employees feel over their achievements. While it might take some time for employees who are especially dependent on approval, this feeling of ownership helps employees develop trust in themselves.

EASE THE NEED FOR APPROVAL WITH NON-CASH INCENTIVES

Offering incentives other than the standard raise or bonus creates a positive ripple pattern that starts with each employee and expands to touch their teammates, manager and the organization as a whole. You are likely to see an easing of the relentless quest for approval, which in turn improves working relationships and supports stellar work performance.

 Are you considering setting up a non-cash incentive program to reward employees? If so, contact Gavel International for more information about our travel incentive programs.

_______________________

SOURCE(S):

1 https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236441/employee-recognition-low-cost-high-impact.aspx

2 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8248600/

Jeff Richards
Latest posts by Jeff Richards (see all)